This is weird but.. I guess a lil' part of me wants you, and that kinda sucks. I don't want to bring in pain and false hopes and whatever not. But I think I've walk too far.

Shit.

Halllllllllllllooooooooooo. I didn't wake up at 9 that day.. haha. Went out for dinner with princess and lin at Strictly pancakes! :) then after that they head over to phuture and I went homeeeee :D

Thursday was my mom's birthday! Happy birthday mom, I might shout at you when I'm angry or what but I'm really glad you're there as my mom. :) <3 Ate crab feast at ubi hahaha shiokism ^^

FRIDAYYYYY went out with my qtpie <3 went to fep then to taka to withdraw money then make the specs!!!! I finally fixed my specs! But it's loose now.. so gotta go back hopefully tomorrow if it's open to adjust it. Met haohao, lin and princess too. Princess is sed because shit happened. But it's okay because we're always there. I can't tell you exactly what to do because it's part of life but just recover faster because none of us wanna see you sad over a fucking guy. :) Hung around town until they left for club and I went home :)

ANYWAY. IT'S SATURDAY NOW.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAOHAO. :) <3

It's New Year's eve! Steamboat yumz and shisha and looking at fireworks with the close ones. :) Hope you guys enjoy your New Year's eve too! xoxo. 

Hallo! Went out with scenekings.. no actually I was only meeting Zhikai but the others in town so.. yeah. Hahahaha went with them to check whether our supastar's belt is real at erm what's that shop again? Hermes? LOL stayed outside because if it's fake will super paiseh heh. IN THE END IS REAL! And supastar bought ah beng Gucci sling bag kenna diu by the others hahaha joker. Went A&F for the first time ever since they opened.. woah damn dark inside. Qtpie said,"Kill people inside also don't know." Supastar said,"Inside pia people also don't know." Sigh.... Went Mandarin Gallery after that for Denim Store then Haohao came to find us. Anyway, he's part of the town clique already. Sigh sebas.......... bwg.

Parted ways so left me, qtpie, haohao and supastar watch M.I! Went for late lunch and we witnessed how supastar ate............ okay I won't talk about it hahahaha. M.I was good!!!!!! Tom Cruise so hansum~ even qtpie said he will turn gay for him HAHA. After movie met all the rest at koufu with princess and lin joining us. Lepak awhile and I went up to buy gong cha with qtpie and he went off~ Lin wanted to watch Sherlock Holmes badly and I didn't mind so we went to buy. Like me, lin and haohao. Went xin wang to eat a bit before going in.. missed a bit of the movie because we went in late.. As expected. Sherlock Holmes damn good omggggg Robert Downey Jr. <3 hahahahhaa and super farnie ^^ not forget Jude Law omg hansum <3

After movie cab to makan sutra BUT NOT OPEN ALREADY BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING MONDAY. So we walked to lau pa sat.. ate a lil' and walk somemore to chinatown. Sit infront of haohao's mom shop then walked a bit more to Mac and sit. Talked until 6 and we all cabbed home. :)

STAYED HOME TODAYYYYY. IT'S 5:02 I GOTTA WAKE UP AT 9 OH NOS GOODNIGHT LOVELIES :) enjoy your holidays before school starts. <3

Hiiiii. Spent my Christmas' eve with all my lovelies. ^ :)

Met them at Botak Jones then to Clarke Quayyyyy. Stupid rain pouring makes all of us can't drink at bridge :(  Drank at Liang Court carpark insteaddddd. Samuel's group have jagger with them!!!! :) happy maxxxxx. Went home at around 2 with qtpie when the rest of them went in Rebel. Just nice Natally open table there with the others like my wupy and erm, Jamuel. Reached home and then use com.. got hungry, went out for supper with Haohao at geylang LOL. DIMSUM YUMZZZZZ OMNOMNOMNOM. Slept at 9+ in the morning haha. Only slept for 6 hours and now I'm yawning away. Spending my Christmas at home! :D

It's kinda late..... but.........................

MERRY CHRISTMAS! <3

Hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas. :)

If you din't, there is always New Year!

Teehee.

Gonna watch MI with qtpie tomorrow. OTHERS ALL PANGSEHHHHH watched already. Pfft. :(

Less than 8 months and I'm legal. Sounds long but isn't. :) :) :)

Have an enjoyable X'mas eve everyone. :) Mine is erm... like a normal day. SINCE sebas wanna go PHUTURE which ME can't get in. Nolah it's okay really pangseh only. -_-

STILL.

Enjoy your Christmas okay :)

Hi elves. :) Went for dinner with my scenekings and ai ling at chomp chomp today after submitting work WOOHOO HOLIDAYZZZZZ. Omnomnomnomnom ^^ went to bugis yesterday with xiaobearrrrr for swirl art :) then walk around~

Tomorrow is christmas eveeeeee. No I mean today. Gonna go out in the night for dinner with my scenekings. :) PLANS AFTER DINNER: NOT CONFIRM. Sigh. Y SO SIANZ. I GOT X'MAS FEEL BUT NO ONE TO CELEBRATE WITH.

Anyway at a very tired mode today. Was dozing off in the bus like a dog -_- sigh even now I'm tired but I don't wanna sleep yettttt. Gonna play with my sims. BEEN LONG MY BABY.

Was browsing through my msn history chat and chanced upon yours. Opened up and read a bit. Sigh wai things so different nao. :(

Boooooo ok this sucks I'm gonna go now bai.

Oh yeah, Michie tied a bun for meeeee while doing work :D:D:D

HALLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Didn't go to school, went to dhoby instead. :) woke up with aching arm wthhhhhh. :( went food court to eat with princess, then to daiso then to cathay's starbux to do work. Jason.... idk spell Jason or Jaeson. Nvm ok yeah he came over to find Michie. Met him for the first time. :) Sit at starbux for damn long and at 7+ adeline came :)

Wanted to eat Strictly Pancakes but no seats so we went KFC. Talked crap and bullshits. Accompanied Michie to toilet while the 2 of them went to Cold Storage. Princess cry againnnnnn sigh. But I think things are better now. :) She's at phuture with adeline, maybe by now at Zirca/Rebel to find her Applepie. It sucks to see your close friend aching but you can't do a shit because they gotta strive for it themselves, we can only support them as good friend. But still, getting those sweet messages from your friends thanking you for being there when they need someone, MAN THAT IS THE BEST. Guess I'm contented this way. :) I'm sure when I need someone, she will be there too. She is, and always there. And her friends too ^^

ME NO 18 ME NO IN ZOUK, SO ME AT HOME WAITING FOR PRINCESS TO COME OVER. I don't know how she is gonna sleep later because no bed is available... lol -_-

GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW SUMPA. Have to scan and all. I hope I can do well sigh abcdefg. Currently stomach growling at its maximum. Gotta cook.

It has been 3 days. I guess I'm better and going strong alrighttttt. CHRISTMAS Y U NO GIVE ME PLANS?

Just finished this movie on funshion. Me slow la ok don't laff. :)

Thought I saw some parts of the movie somewhere.. must be. Haha. It's really niceeeee. RYAN GOSLING :) :) :) I downloaded One Day too. Gotta watch it tomorrow. It's 5:11 now, time to hit my sack. Gotta wake up at 12. Gudnight. <3

Hallo. Went over princess' house to do work today. Well we didn't, gotta go school and do tomorrow. Was using my laptop, suddenly she came over and cry in my face. Got freaked out, close my laptop and put it aside, hugged her AND SAY,"AN ZHUA?" No la. I didn't lol. I asked what happened. Sigh. Relationship problem. Enough of the shit already. She got her own problems she wanna ask about mine. Tell me to strive for it. I mean I did not like I never. And I got nothing in return. She said something like I gotten used to him around means I liked him already so I should go for it. I only say,"Just let it be okay. I don't wanna try."

Perhaps the past experience of trying really make me not putting in any effort. But I am seriously very tired of being the one that always try. Sick of it. At times like these I feel like shutting myself in an enclosed room and just cry. Hiding away from reality once in awhile is not a bad idea.

"The people who want to stay in your life will always find a way." I did, but in no return. Maybe just not fated to be. Not even as friends?

Life is shitty when the holidays start. Staying at home, going out awhile, staying at home. No proper dates. I miss the past when I can go out and have fun in the midnight. Like going to lan or pool or sing k. Now everyone is gone. And Christmas is coming, the best thing is I don't even have a plan of what to do and to do celebrate it. Someone, give me a date. Kthxbye.

Shopping online and there are so many shit that I want. :((((( howwwww I wanna have money. WHY. WHY SCHOOL YOU ONLY GIVE ME 2 WEEKS HOLIDAYS. WHY HOLIDAYS FOR TDS LESSER THAN OTHERS. :( I wanna earn money.. -spamming with sad faces-

Things I need:

• Actually I only NEED a proper spectacles. Been wearing my cui specs for more than half year already. :(

Things I want:

• Gucci perfume. Seriously I eye on it for months already but no have money how to buyyyyy. :(
• Polaroid. Sigh another one la okay. No money don't talk.
• Clothings. Too many to list so I put them all under one category including SHOES. Saving money for branded jeans + branded boots because I want one. I feel helpless looking at them only. :(
• I feel like I need to buy makeup. But I don't know which to buy lol. I'm very lazy when it comes to make up and I put make up machiam don't have so I rather don't put. Only put 1 layer of foundation which it will be gone after half of the day. Then eyeliner but it doesn't work very well because my eyelids go in. Blusher. After 3 hours of stepping out gone already. Lipstick. After 2 hours also gone. No mascara because I lazy. No eyeshadow because I lazy. No primer no bronzer no concealer because I don't have. :( 
• Contact lens. Mine expired already. I mean I don't mind expired lens because I can wear 2 more months. But still..... new change for new year.. right? I hope I'm right lol
• Do my nails. I want to do gelish mani for my nails but no money again. One gelish 50+. I know it's retarded spending 50+ for your nails.. but they can last 3 weeks and they are so pretty. Been a fan of pretty nails from very long ago. Why I no talent!!!!
• Dye my hair + highlights. This one still can wait because I just dyed it in October and yalah the colour gone so now brown again. So I'm intending to dye again in Feb. Ash green!!!! + highlights!!!!! Or red!!!! + highlights!!! Or deep violet!!!! + awesome LILAC HIGHLIGHTS. Idk if it works.. haha. Hope they can do something about my brown hair because I don't want my dye all gone because the brown eat all my colour :( maybe bleach my hair before dyeing hehehe. 
• My hair to grow faster. Didn't cut/trim my hair for more than 8 months already except for my fringe. Ya they are long now but not long enough.. maybe have to wait 8 more months omggggg. 1 month gain 2cm only! :((((( -pulls my hair so that it will grow faster- if I wait for 8 more months means it will be my birthday, by then I can freaking PLAIT MY HAIR. OMG. RUV SCORPION/FISH BRAIDS OMGGGGG. ^^
• Go USS with clique + loved ones. Will be damn awesome if my family + town clique goes together wah steady pom pi pi funny shit. This one after CNY already confirm with clique already ^^
• New earrings! The ones my dajie gave me on my birthday spoilt! They can be glued back but not same anymore boooooo :(
• New necklace that can be wore everyday + nice. Because I wore this stitch necklace for a year and a half and I think it's really time for me to put the necklace aside and wear a new one. It doesn't hold any meaning anymore. It's just there because I feel plain without necklace.

These are all what I can think of already.. Not including minus-ing some GAY retard from my life and good GPA. No academic. I'm on holidays let me enjoy. Actually I think all the things listed above can be part of my resolutions already. Adding on to some other things.. yeah. Will do up another post for resolutions when it comes to New Year :) 

One thing that I will always want:

• Be happy. 

CONFIRM IN MY RESOLUTIONS ^ 

Oh, and I miss you, like really. Looking at my phone at random times just to see that there is a message coming in saying,"Hi babe! I miss you!" or something like that. I will do anything to keep you close. Saw one tweet from @Blackology saying,"Why do you miss a person? It's because you became so used to the idea of having that person around." Guessed that's what happening to me. It's 5:13 in the morning. Time to get some sleep. Getting a new piercing with my sister, then to bugis to see some stuffs then off to princess' house to do work. Yes, I have work to do. Goodnight. 

Hiiiii. Cuddling in a cold night with cushion. Sad right cold night no boyfriend only got cushion hahahaha. Supposed to go USS but the rain didn't stop since morning -_- and period visited me yesterday so um, guess I won't be able to enjoy fully if we did go USS haha.

Staying at home today.. waiting for someone's text. Seriously, I'm tired of chasing. If you want me in your life, put me there. I shouldn't fight for a spot.

Fml.

I wonder how it feels like to fall in love again.
Better yet, to be in a relationship.
And yes, that peekcha was taken after I cried... if I'm not wrong.

HALLO HAD VERY LITTLE SLEEP IDK WHY I CAN'T SLEEP WELL.

So I had an impromptu decision of going zirca. Partly I didn't wanna go is because WHAT IF I CAN'T GET IN. Waste my cab fare. But nahhhh gave it a try and tadah I was innnnn thanks chenhao ^^ and thanks pk fo' riding me there~ Went to find zhikai and danny before meeting chenhao. First clubbing without my princess because she's at phuture. Was with chenhao all the way. Bryan was with us but he's um.. DEAD. Seriously. -_- grateful to chenhao for taking care of me. Was drunk till I can't stand properly. Like I fall down when I got up of the seat. Even need some anon behind to pull me I don't know who la ok thanks anyway. Zirca music sucks to the max really. Went over to Rebel but it was packed like shit. I was drunk and I don't feel like moving so I just sit down. And puke on the floor.. felt so bad for the cleaner. Went toilet to puke even more and my phone drop in the sink full of water. Some problem with my phone but I fixed it omg luckyyyyy.

Went home at 330 because we're all dead like even chenhao also cmi lol. He lied on the floor and we saw zhikai and danny outside so they came over. Police and ambulance came so the 3 of us zao and we left chenhao there LOL felt so bad but aiya we can't think. So in the cab home zhikai keep wanna vomit and the taxi stop for him to but idiot always having false signs lol. Dropped me first then the 2 of them went kaki bukit. Reached home vomit somemore and played dota lol idk what I'm doing thanks Lionel for saying it's funny to see a drunkard playing dota -_-

IT'S 3:34PM AND IT'S RAINING. Just played td games with YY :) I don't know is it me or what but yeah something wrong with us hahaha. Feels weird. Wanna talk to him but I don't know where to start ahhhhh save me :( I miss you really. But can't say it out sigh. Someone save me.

I hope it's you.

HIASHASFBAGBAIWHFOAHSONCALNF

ME SO DRUNK OK BYE

Hallo. I miss you.

I don't know what am I doing. Lifeless shit.
Staying at home today. Blah.

Hi, just got back home from watch muvee, New Year's Eve :) Was good. Funny, inspirational and sad. Nabei I teared 3-4 times U KNOW Y. The daddy inside look like my grandpa -_- gotta see him on CNY oraighttttt! Anw, in the movie it told us not be afraid of taking chances and all. wai wai wai wai wai wai.

Oh ya, gotta resubmit my assignment 2 for ArcDT fml la ok. -.- means I only have one week of holidays FUCK.

And I had like mixed feelings in me I don't know whether to cry or laugh or suck it in. So pissed until I feel like punching something. Anything will do. Knnbccb. LIKE SERIOUSLY.

Bye. Fuck this shit.

HAI ITZ MORNING. NOT DONE WITH JOURNAL. GOTTA GET MY ASS OUT OF HOUSE IN LESS THAN AN HOUR SIMILAN I'M SO HUNGRY I HAVEN EAT ANYTHING. ACTUALLY NOT VERY HUNGRY BUT I FEEL LIKE BITING SOMETHING. AFTER 3 EVERYTHING WILL END.

AND YOU. DON'T WANT REPLY ME OK CAN. PFFT. I KNOW YOU'RE READING.

Hi, gotta start on my last day of chionging before submission later morning+afternoon.
ME DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START I WANNA BANG WALL SIGH.
And idk where is YY~ :(
Ok came here to rant that's all. Gonna start my night soon abcdefg

Holla. ^ that's me and my new found love today at A&F. :')

Nolah, actually wanted another to carry me but his back pain ah :'(

MUST BE SOME INCONSIDERATE PPL GIVE UNREASONABLE REQUESTS LIKE AHEM.

Missed school on Monday because it was only consultation. Went A&F with sceneprincess but no good cam so we went back today with Adeline hahahahaha :) stayed over her house on Monday again then WE REALLY DO WORK OK. Had only 2.5 hours of sleep, coming to school to have duarte telling us there were actually no morning class. OMG Y U LIDDAT I CAN STAY IN CRIB EVEN LONGER. OR NO NEED TO COME SCH AT ALL BECAUSE IT WILL BE CONSULTATION AGAIN. :( sad ttm.

But thank goodness my dj was around and played remix for me at 10+am till 1 in the afternoon hahahaha sweeeeeet ttm sia :) :) :) 

Got home at around 8 and toh, I meant like LITERALLY fall on my bed and nap because I'm really very tired. Didn't even bother to take out my contacts and head to nap lol -_- woke up at 12 and here I am doing work again. I hope it will be easy. Going school to ask grace about some measurements~ ok bai :D

Waddup y'all. It's 7:46am nowwwww. Just hibernated for 7 hours with Michie and that pig is still sleeping zzz. Didn't bring my thumbdrive..... fucked up. AUTOCAD ASSIGNMENT IS INSIDE Y I SO STUPID. Nola actually it's okay because I can do the assignment 2. Gotta start on ArcDT assignment soon nabei. 

Went to spize to eat last night. Had chocolate tissue prata ~.~ scenekings uploaded the photos but still some that didn't upload from sebas' phone and CHENHAO's phone. < didn't even upload a single shit gotta get it from me.

Okay gotta start on my work. Good thing is class at 3 today wooyeah~ :D

I never wanted you to leave.
Now that you did, I'm even worst.
Hope that you'll come back and make me laugh at your jokes.

:'(

Hallo. Just got back my crib after celebrating Sebas' birthday. Idiot got himself puke like merlion and, THERE WAS NO JAGER. :( nah it's ok hope the birthday boy enjoyed. :) Tons of photo taken with the town clique. And I'm a paedophile. Because I found my qtpie and self admitted is my boyfriend hahahahahahahahaha. Y sho kiut :) Got home so early because I can't get in. They went Rebel :( so chenhao, sam, qtpie and me cabbed home together. Nice get-together. Took photo with Noah so we can get famous also HAHAHAHA #fml

So.. apparently I lost a friend because of what I blogged in the previous post v
I didn't mean to make such a big impact on you. I don't know if you're reading but if you are, I'm sorry. Maybe you didn't know that I'm such a douchebag. I really didn't meant to lost a friend. In the beginning I already have very little friends around that are there to listen to my problems. Now I lost one, ok can rui yun you damn good at pushing people away. I cherish you as a friend. Maybe I think of things too far but I felt bad. You didn't ruin my life. You coloured it even more just that I don't know how to accept it. Been long since a guy treats me good huh. All the past relationship scares me enough that I wish I'm single with no troubles. You deleted me off facebook, you don't reply to my messages, so I don't bother trying to call. At the very least I hope you are still at this tiny space caring about me even if you're not there with me anymore. If you are willing, text me. I'll be happy if you did.

I miss you.

I'm having a feeling that I only have when I'm in relationship.
Fuck no, not again.
Dying at my spot at 9gag laughing to keep myself good because people interfered my life that I didn't wanna add on anyone that have any other feelings then being friends and brothers for me.
I'm good this way, before I knew you. Don't make me feel bad for what I'm doing.

I'm cringing inside.

Hi, it has been long. :)

So it's already December! ~.~ Time passes fast as years goes by. Christmas is coming and so in a brand new year. Totally no plans for christmas. It's like 15 more days. FUCK. -________-

A lot of things happened but yeah I'm not gonna say a lot.

Told myself not to be in relationship through my poly years. Just fun and friends will do. Including ma family. :) Apparently I did not step out of my comfort zone of accepting other people. Fuck this shit k I chose not to. Not showing it but my actions do.

A quickie about today. Went to the doc's and the medical fee tallies to $174. Okay can. Have like 8 medicines for me. -_- went to dhoby with my sis then to fep. Bought a new cream lipstix woohooo but I think I look pale in it because it's like.. light pink -_- then ate at kfc and I literally shower myself in kfc. Wanted to drink the water but the cap was open and the water start flowing down my body aizaiiiii.

Gonna drink tomorrow to celebrate Sebas' birthday with the scenekings and my scenequeen. Hopefully V come along :) :) ALRIGHT JAGGER ME COMING WAIT FOR ME K. :D