So. I decided I'm not gonna wait anymore because I'm not a toy that you want you talk to and when you don't want to you kick me away. And currently I'm in my submission week. I don't want to see any unexpected message coming in that make me can't focus.
Die die had to cry infront of Simon again. At least it was Simon and not other lecturer. Him being so nice trying to ask me to catch up though he don't know what is wrong with me. Previously cried infront of him because you just had to talk to me in that manner.
Seriously why????? I always ask myself am I not that worthy for a person to try? And why can't you just put yourself in my fucking shoes. Like I have to tahan with your tired feeling and being busy. And you just had to come and poke a needle no wait... not just one. Poke NEEDLES into my heart instead. I had to brush it aside about how your parents treat me because all I wanted was to spend time with you even if I had to put up with what they say. I seriously don't mind but you just had to say,"No.. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." Or whatever not. I am already willing to, why you just don't support me?
K la fine maybe another girl will please your parents k. I'm not good enough ok. You will probably be thinking: Since you had to tahan, I might as well be the bad guy and let her be happy instead.
Guess what? F U C K O F F W I T H T H A T T H I N K I N G. Don't even think of me? I'm already letting things go the way they want but yet all you can think is just the negative and not supporting me.
Maybe lovers are just not suitable for us. I feel the stinging pain in my heart and I feel like hiding at one corner and I feel like having Mich and Chenhao passing me their fever so I can just get sick and not think of anything else. I feel so fucking weak but I had to laugh it off when I'm fucking crying inside. I am always thinking that you might just pop up at my room's window looking at me or trying to call me when I am having a nap. Hoping to see you outside my house is the best thing I'd ever wish but I stopped hoping because since you don't have enough time for me it means you don't have time to come my house either.
"Time is you find yourself." Guess I'm just not important enough to be part of your schedule.
Loving you is the greatest sin I had done.
I will just.. focus with my school work, #TTC, partying, secondary school lovelies, and focus on my dream. To be flying around the earth with a free soul, if I'm the only one there.