Hi.......... It's 5:35 in the morning. Just finish 9gagging which took the whole day for me to finish tracking back to what I read because I don't go 9gag so often now :/ just wanted to finish it before I blog.
Alright... yesterday, just stayed at home. Slept 13.5 hours because yeah no because.. -_- previous night slept at around 2.30am because I was really tired from work.. don't know whether it is because Michie wasn't doing gushcloud with me or what.. she was doing sticker lol. Kai didn't want me to do sticker because he said I do too good for gushcloud already @_@ Only worked for 3 hours and left because I was really tired. Michie went off first to meet Alfee @ bugis and I went home alone. Yep.
Stayed at home the whole of Friday.. and until the night I started to get a lil' worried about Victor. Nowhere in sight, not on garena and fb. So I thought prolly fixing his blue screen problem. Oh yeah haven been talking a lot because some things happened.. see below's post. Prolly just exchange text 4 times a day. Then decided to give a text at 11 to ask where is he.. reply gotten was having supper with his sec school mates. So I replied,"Ok, then at least tell me?" Didn't say I was worried though. Reply gotten again was saying we didn't text so he didn't tell me. Gotten really pissed because by saying means I have to initiate to text?? Hello I'd been doing that for the past 3 days what the fuck you want somemore? So I replied I worried for the whole day for nothing etc. And he say if this is the case I rather we don't talk.
Me: Wtf? What case?
Him: if this is still your tone.
Seriously at some point of time I REALLY DON'T MIND PLEADING OR BEGGING YOU TO TALK TO ME. WHY? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. And seriously you were the one who gave me cold replies in the first place why make it as if I have to sweet talk you to calm you down? Previous day texting Victor after I ended work, saying I just end work and asked where is he. Normal reply of would be caring or whatever along this line. Shit gotten was,"In camp. Today never go out." Orly seems like whether I'm fine or not doesn't really matter. Sure if you don't concern about me. Just that if I got into some problem you won't be seeing me again why not.
Seriously hate it when I already said sorry and what not to appease you but this is the shit I get. Talking about compromising and fairness. There is no fucking fairness in relationship. Whatever I do is wrong. Whatever the other party do is correct.
Gotten my timetable and appeared that I have 3-6 classes. But supposed to have CDS but it isn't reflected on the timetable. Fucking shit. Emailed Aida for clarification. Afraid that CDS will be 6-9 in the night, that's why I wanna talk to each other and meet this weekend which is the last 2 days of holidays. Then yeah gotten shit again seriously. I really really fucking hate it.
Had done enough begging and compromising which always FAIL and pleading but no they don't work in the end. Seriously why am I doing all these shits because I was the one being chased by Victor and not me chasing him. Why when we're together the things are the other way round? Stop with all your cold replies acting cool and saying you need time because sure, whatever time you need, once my school starts and if CDS is 6-9, you have ALL the time okay. I am seriously very fucking sick of pleading and begging because they don't work.
Right now I'm crying my eyes out and heart is cringing but I guessed you had fun with your mates huh. I am seriously not a toy that when you wanna talk to, you talk. When you feel that you don't want to, YOU KICK ME AWAY. I'd enough of this and I don't want to waste my time at home worrying NUTS for you because you don't fucking appreciate. You wanna find a girl that is a good dog and listen to you? Sure go ahead. The fb relationship status is always there for you to change it. Up to you. You have your limit, I have too. Show me your swag by giving cool replies and there goes our relationship. I don't care anymore. Letting myself hurt over the same guy OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Who in the world will be as stupid as me?
Tired. Heading out no matter what. I'm like a bomb waiting to get diffused but I can't sit around anymore. Damn sick.. of crying over useless things.